Hope Floats

(pregnancy mentioned)

That's right, I get to talk about my pregnancy, not a miscarriage.

I feel like a 7 year-old who just back from the zoo for the first time. Our u/s went great today... I was so happy I cried. Last night I was convinced that my pregnancy was over and went to bed crying. Woke up and 2:40 am and cried for another 2 hours. Even on the way to the u/s I was thinking about adoption. But by the grace of God I am sitting here writing about this instead. I never thought I would.

I know, some of you may be thinking, "Enough already, what happened?" so here it is... (if you aren't wondering, please humor me)

I measured 8w6d, the baby had a hb of 162, and is measuring 1 inch. This is a HUGE step for us as we have never made it past 7 weeks or moved onto a 3rd u/s. We got to see the baby move, the arm and leg buds, umbilical cord... the baby even did a little flip. He or she looked so big on the screen. It was just amazing.

The RE agreed to let me stay with her for another 3 weeks before moving into the world of "normals." I know that something can go wrong still, I am not a newbie. If something is to go wrong, I want to hear it from my RE not a u/s tech who has no idea what my history is.

I go back in 3 weeks for more labs, to check my immune system, and I will get another u/s then. I will be getting another IVIg treatment this week. I am still not accepting the "c-word" but I am still taking luck, prayers, and positive energy. We still have a long way to go.

Right now, here in this moment, I want to feel joy, happiness, and this quiet comforting solitude. For the first time, in a long time, all is right in my world.

"You just got to give hope a chance to float up." -Sandra Bullock as Birdee in Hope Floats