What's Your Poison?

While my pregnancy with LP was quiet and uneventful, his labor was, well... less than ideal.

My water broke without warning and 45 minutes later my contractions started. I then waited 14 hours before getting the epidural because I have to wait for the blood thinners to wear off. So a total of 31 hours later, including two hours of pushing, LP arrived.

There was very little that I liked about his labor. I realize it's labor but you get my point.

So I am hoping for something different this time. Something less draining and Lord willing, shorter.

I have been sitting on the fence about doing an induction for quite some time. There are many things that I like about the idea but just as many that I don't. When I think about starting labor naturally or with induction, neither leaves me a feeling of resolve. I often tell people that sometimes we have to pick our poison. That's what I am doing now.

My greatest worry about all this is making the wrong decision.

L has been awesome. He withheld his opinion but then he saw it weighing on me too heavily and openly and gently gave his opinion. Which was for induction but only a few days out from the due date.

As a friend recently pointed out to me, there is no wrong way to bring a baby into the world. All I can do is try and make the best possible decision for my family without letting others influence.

I think that the best decision, over all, is induction. (Just saying it out loud makes me nervous...)

So now my greatest obstacle, at this point, is telling my doula.

Who happens to be my sister. She believes greatly in allowing the birth process to happen naturally, in it's own way and time, and with as little medical intervention as possible. (Though, what else would you expect from a doula?)

I know, a doula??

Despite it being an induction there will still be the pain of labor before I can start my epidural. I am nervous about being more aware of my surroundings since I won't be as exhausted (crossing fingers). I also want a woman present who has attempted natural labor as well as gone through a c- section, in case I end up there. While my nervousness is certainly related to the pain it relates more largely to duration and length of the labor.

I know my sister will support L and I in our decision and that when the time comes she will be our biggest cheerleader. This is about me confronting the now family matriarch. Me saying, "I know you aren't thrilled with my decision but please support me anyway."

It's about me standing up for my family.

It's got to start sometime, right?

My Dream

I had a dream last week that I started labor 1 day before I turned 36w. Everything about it was realistic until I called the doctor's office...

When I called the doctor (who, IRL, is another practitioner within the office though not my regular doctor) he and the receptionist kept insisting that it was an infection and that I only needed some cream.

If only.