***Caution- Touchy subject! It’s my blog though so I can do what I want***
So there are people in the IF’sphere, well, my IF’shere, that are in an uproar about what a poster said to one of my fellow IF’ers/ RPL sisters. The post is over at The Sticky Bean Preconception Journal if you are wondering.
An anonymous poster suggested, well pretty much said, that people were punished until they were humbled enough by God. Specifically, in this case, infertiles or RPL’ers.
Let me first say that I did not grow up in the church and that all of my ‘God learning experiences’ came from going to a YMCA camp for 3 months every summer from the age of 8 until I was 20. Don’t worry I went there as a camper (until the age of 15) and then worked there. There are also two very personal experiences, that I will share in later blogs, as to why I believe in God and his presence.
I don’t believe that God punishes people. It’s just not in my definition of God. I think that God loves us and wants us all to be happy or at least content. Some days it’s just seriously difficult to believe and remember that.
Many times throughout this process I have yelled at God, screamed why at Him, and cried many, many tears with Him. In the end of it all none of it mattered 1) Because I cannot control this and 2) God is large person, he take it. I can turn my back, pout in the corner like a 2- year old but it will not change… things are the way they are. Sometimes there are reasons, sometimes there aren’t. You have to careful if you assign a ‘reason’ to an action. Reason can lead to blame. And blame never leads to anything good.
I believe that there is too much to learn in this life in just one trip. Do I call it reincarnation? Past lives? I am not sure. There are just too many experiences to go through in just a mere 85 years- if we are lucky enough to be in a very healthly body that long.
In my opinion, I think that certain experiences are meant to give us a different perspective. A new view point. A way to learn something if we can. It’s there to help us grow if we can withstand it.
I like to think that the last 3 years of my life God has been trying to teach me to let go. Be patient. Flow with the waves of life. Be in the moment because it’s all we have. Stop thinking forward. Learn to accept. Things don’t always need changing. Some things just are. Learn to trust the process.
I am a slow, slow learner. I am stubborn, bullheaded, and a control freak to boot. Too bad for God… but lucky for me He has the patience of a saint.
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4 comments:
I grew up in a church that emphasized the "God did this to you for a reason," philosophy. I disagree with it strongly - but I also hesitate to say so in many situations because I know there are people who rely on this view to cope. The more time goes on, though, the more I think that this God-as-cosmic-disciplinarian philosophy does more harm than good - for everyone it comforts, there are two or three more who are lying at the side of the road bruised and bleeding from it.
I like this. Good post :O).
I agree. I just don't believe God is out to punish us. Life is hard. End of the story. Everyone has something that they will deal with in life that is difficult. At this moment, IF is my issue. That's not anyone else's fault or even my fault. It's just life. I just hope God can give me the strength to make it through the next 2ww because I'm already losing it.
Thanks for writing this--I did see that comment, and it just makes me shake my head....
Not every road in life is paved with golden stones--but I personally believe God doesn't give you something you cant handle...even IF.
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