"Thank you God for the snow that muffles the noisy world." - LP's book
Monday, February 15, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Quick Nutshell
I could not have asked for a better labor, when I arrived I was already 3cm :)
After 14 hours, including 1-1/2 hours of pushing, LP's little BROTHER arrived!!
Pictures will follow soon- I hope :) Lord help me- a house full of boys!
After 14 hours, including 1-1/2 hours of pushing, LP's little BROTHER arrived!!
Pictures will follow soon- I hope :) Lord help me- a house full of boys!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
It's All Downhill
Or at least that's what I hear people say... who are these "people" anyway???
I digress and make jokes when I am nervous or anxious as you can plainly see above.
Why? Because Induction Day has come, well actually, the Eve Before Induction has come (even though by the time you read this I will have been at the hospital since 6am.)
I am a bundle of emotions right now.
This might be my baby's birthday! Well, let's at least hope so.
I cried after dropping LP off at Mothers Morning Out. I am going to miss my snuggle time with him, eating breakfast with him, constantly having to read books to him... Alright, I have to stop- I am tearing up again. I have to keep reminding myself that it's not as if I am never going to see him again. It's just going to be different. Different is okay. Sigh...
Okay, on to some highlights for the day!
-I have called a few friends and L and excitedly told them that I had lost small pieces of my mucus plug. Gross, but if you can't tell your closest mom friends and husband who can you tell?
-I am also feeling a bit like a princess because I saved some money to get a mani/pedi today AND L and I got our Christmas present to each other today...
-Our house professionally cleaned! They did a pretty good job and were worth the money :) They cleaned everything, including all the baseboards and window sills.
-I also picked up some yellow roses today in memory of mom. I would like to take them with me tomorrow morning but don't see how that's really practical.
-I got to bake my chocolate chip cookies.
I am hoping that all goes well tomorrow. I am accepting any good vibes and well wishes that are offered so please don't hesitate!
I keep thinking about why I am anxious and nervous.
I am hoping that I can do this. That I can have a labor that I don't hate- or regret. That I can be a *good* mom to two kids. That I can still be a good wife. That I can still be a good employee. That I can still like who I am at the end of most days. I hope that on the days when I fall short that I will be gentle and forgiving of myself.
It all sounds so simple and yet, it's such a tall order.
I am nervous about going to sleep because then it will be tomorrow. And it's all downhill from there. (Sigh...) Good thing I got some Ty.lenol PM.
I will do my best to post as soon as I can on how everything went. Thank you all for the continuous love you have shown!
I digress and make jokes when I am nervous or anxious as you can plainly see above.
Why? Because Induction Day has come, well actually, the Eve Before Induction has come (even though by the time you read this I will have been at the hospital since 6am.)
I am a bundle of emotions right now.
This might be my baby's birthday! Well, let's at least hope so.
I cried after dropping LP off at Mothers Morning Out. I am going to miss my snuggle time with him, eating breakfast with him, constantly having to read books to him... Alright, I have to stop- I am tearing up again. I have to keep reminding myself that it's not as if I am never going to see him again. It's just going to be different. Different is okay. Sigh...
Okay, on to some highlights for the day!
-I have called a few friends and L and excitedly told them that I had lost small pieces of my mucus plug. Gross, but if you can't tell your closest mom friends and husband who can you tell?
-I am also feeling a bit like a princess because I saved some money to get a mani/pedi today AND L and I got our Christmas present to each other today...
-Our house professionally cleaned! They did a pretty good job and were worth the money :) They cleaned everything, including all the baseboards and window sills.
-I also picked up some yellow roses today in memory of mom. I would like to take them with me tomorrow morning but don't see how that's really practical.
-I got to bake my chocolate chip cookies.
I am hoping that all goes well tomorrow. I am accepting any good vibes and well wishes that are offered so please don't hesitate!
I keep thinking about why I am anxious and nervous.
I am hoping that I can do this. That I can have a labor that I don't hate- or regret. That I can be a *good* mom to two kids. That I can still be a good wife. That I can still be a good employee. That I can still like who I am at the end of most days. I hope that on the days when I fall short that I will be gentle and forgiving of myself.
It all sounds so simple and yet, it's such a tall order.
I am nervous about going to sleep because then it will be tomorrow. And it's all downhill from there. (Sigh...) Good thing I got some Ty.lenol PM.
I will do my best to post as soon as I can on how everything went. Thank you all for the continuous love you have shown!
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Wow.
So much to say and yet, nothing to say at all.
The holidays were good, not great, but good. I got a stomach virus two days before Christmas Eve. Then on Christmas the rest of my extended family got it- it wasn't until evening time so we were able to enjoy the day. It appeared to the gift that kept on giving.
My biggest step??? I have my induction scheduled. Eeeek!!!
I am not going to reveal the date but it's soon. Very soon. I suspect I will post before heading off to meet the newest family member.
I am terrified and excited all at once. I will miss my snuggle time with LP and being our little family of three. I have cried about it several times but I am excited to meet this baby and add to our family. Having my "end date" has given me the ability to better cope with the aches and pains of pregnancy-- and have a better attitude in general. For which everyone is grateful!
However, I have been having "real" contractions on and off since Sunday. It is reminding me of the week prior to LP's birth. My heart is now at ease with my decision to induce. I was worried about bringing this new family member into the world too early but I feel like if I make it to the induction it will be right on time.
I tweaked the story that I gave to my sister, my doula, about the induction. She has said on no uncertain terms that she considered it "irresponsible of any doctor to just schedule an induction without considering what a woman's body is ready for..." Yes, I know. It's just her opinion. It's her soapbox-- along with feelings about how breastfeeding is the only right way to do things *buuut* that's another story in itself.
Back to my tweaked story... I said the induction would be a "last minute decision" based upon what my cervix/ body was doing. Not a scheduled "2-3 weeks in advance thing." I figure this way I still get to feel good about my decision without worrying that she's judging me *and* what she doesn't know won't hurt her. See? Everyone's happy! (However cowardly it may come across.)
Finally, while I do still plan on following people, I have decided to give blogging a rest. Simply said, I feel that my journey is complete. This has been a long debate for me. I considered setting up shop in a new place but that didn't seem fair to any readers as my blog has been seriously slacking- aka I have been a slacker. So I am wrapping it up.
I will keep the blog open for those who might be struggling with the turmoil that RPL brings, maybe they will stumble across it and be encouraged to consider paths less traveled. The infertility community gave me a home when I had none and I hope that by leaving my blog up it will continue to give back to those who need it.
But don't panic!!!
This won't happen until after the baby is born- it seems as though it would be cruel to not let everyone know the baby's gender :)
The holidays were good, not great, but good. I got a stomach virus two days before Christmas Eve. Then on Christmas the rest of my extended family got it- it wasn't until evening time so we were able to enjoy the day. It appeared to the gift that kept on giving.
My biggest step??? I have my induction scheduled. Eeeek!!!
I am not going to reveal the date but it's soon. Very soon. I suspect I will post before heading off to meet the newest family member.
I am terrified and excited all at once. I will miss my snuggle time with LP and being our little family of three. I have cried about it several times but I am excited to meet this baby and add to our family. Having my "end date" has given me the ability to better cope with the aches and pains of pregnancy-- and have a better attitude in general. For which everyone is grateful!
However, I have been having "real" contractions on and off since Sunday. It is reminding me of the week prior to LP's birth. My heart is now at ease with my decision to induce. I was worried about bringing this new family member into the world too early but I feel like if I make it to the induction it will be right on time.
I tweaked the story that I gave to my sister, my doula, about the induction. She has said on no uncertain terms that she considered it "irresponsible of any doctor to just schedule an induction without considering what a woman's body is ready for..." Yes, I know. It's just her opinion. It's her soapbox-- along with feelings about how breastfeeding is the only right way to do things *buuut* that's another story in itself.
Back to my tweaked story... I said the induction would be a "last minute decision" based upon what my cervix/ body was doing. Not a scheduled "2-3 weeks in advance thing." I figure this way I still get to feel good about my decision without worrying that she's judging me *and* what she doesn't know won't hurt her. See? Everyone's happy! (However cowardly it may come across.)
Finally, while I do still plan on following people, I have decided to give blogging a rest. Simply said, I feel that my journey is complete. This has been a long debate for me. I considered setting up shop in a new place but that didn't seem fair to any readers as my blog has been seriously slacking- aka I have been a slacker. So I am wrapping it up.
I will keep the blog open for those who might be struggling with the turmoil that RPL brings, maybe they will stumble across it and be encouraged to consider paths less traveled. The infertility community gave me a home when I had none and I hope that by leaving my blog up it will continue to give back to those who need it.
But don't panic!!!
This won't happen until after the baby is born- it seems as though it would be cruel to not let everyone know the baby's gender :)
Thursday, December 17, 2009
What's Your Poison?
While my pregnancy with LP was quiet and uneventful, his labor was, well... less than ideal.
My water broke without warning and 45 minutes later my contractions started. I then waited 14 hours before getting the epidural because I have to wait for the blood thinners to wear off. So a total of 31 hours later, including two hours of pushing, LP arrived.
There was very little that I liked about his labor. I realize it's labor but you get my point.
So I am hoping for something different this time. Something less draining and Lord willing, shorter.
I have been sitting on the fence about doing an induction for quite some time. There are many things that I like about the idea but just as many that I don't. When I think about starting labor naturally or with induction, neither leaves me a feeling of resolve. I often tell people that sometimes we have to pick our poison. That's what I am doing now.
My greatest worry about all this is making the wrong decision.
L has been awesome. He withheld his opinion but then he saw it weighing on me too heavily and openly and gently gave his opinion. Which was for induction but only a few days out from the due date.
As a friend recently pointed out to me, there is no wrong way to bring a baby into the world. All I can do is try and make the best possible decision for my family without letting others influence.
I think that the best decision, over all, is induction. (Just saying it out loud makes me nervous...)
So now my greatest obstacle, at this point, is telling my doula.
Who happens to be my sister. She believes greatly in allowing the birth process to happen naturally, in it's own way and time, and with as little medical intervention as possible. (Though, what else would you expect from a doula?)
I know, a doula??
Despite it being an induction there will still be the pain of labor before I can start my epidural. I am nervous about being more aware of my surroundings since I won't be as exhausted (crossing fingers). I also want a woman present who has attempted natural labor as well as gone through a c- section, in case I end up there. While my nervousness is certainly related to the pain it relates more largely to duration and length of the labor.
I know my sister will support L and I in our decision and that when the time comes she will be our biggest cheerleader. This is about me confronting the now family matriarch. Me saying, "I know you aren't thrilled with my decision but please support me anyway."
It's about me standing up for my family.
It's got to start sometime, right?
My water broke without warning and 45 minutes later my contractions started. I then waited 14 hours before getting the epidural because I have to wait for the blood thinners to wear off. So a total of 31 hours later, including two hours of pushing, LP arrived.
There was very little that I liked about his labor. I realize it's labor but you get my point.
So I am hoping for something different this time. Something less draining and Lord willing, shorter.
I have been sitting on the fence about doing an induction for quite some time. There are many things that I like about the idea but just as many that I don't. When I think about starting labor naturally or with induction, neither leaves me a feeling of resolve. I often tell people that sometimes we have to pick our poison. That's what I am doing now.
My greatest worry about all this is making the wrong decision.
L has been awesome. He withheld his opinion but then he saw it weighing on me too heavily and openly and gently gave his opinion. Which was for induction but only a few days out from the due date.
As a friend recently pointed out to me, there is no wrong way to bring a baby into the world. All I can do is try and make the best possible decision for my family without letting others influence.
I think that the best decision, over all, is induction. (Just saying it out loud makes me nervous...)
So now my greatest obstacle, at this point, is telling my doula.
Who happens to be my sister. She believes greatly in allowing the birth process to happen naturally, in it's own way and time, and with as little medical intervention as possible. (Though, what else would you expect from a doula?)
I know, a doula??
Despite it being an induction there will still be the pain of labor before I can start my epidural. I am nervous about being more aware of my surroundings since I won't be as exhausted (crossing fingers). I also want a woman present who has attempted natural labor as well as gone through a c- section, in case I end up there. While my nervousness is certainly related to the pain it relates more largely to duration and length of the labor.
I know my sister will support L and I in our decision and that when the time comes she will be our biggest cheerleader. This is about me confronting the now family matriarch. Me saying, "I know you aren't thrilled with my decision but please support me anyway."
It's about me standing up for my family.
It's got to start sometime, right?
Thursday, December 10, 2009
My Dream
I had a dream last week that I started labor 1 day before I turned 36w. Everything about it was realistic until I called the doctor's office...
When I called the doctor (who, IRL, is another practitioner within the office though not my regular doctor) he and the receptionist kept insisting that it was an infection and that I only needed some cream.
If only.
When I called the doctor (who, IRL, is another practitioner within the office though not my regular doctor) he and the receptionist kept insisting that it was an infection and that I only needed some cream.
If only.
Friday, November 27, 2009
November
The month is always emotional for me. It marks major events in my life.
The first mark November left on me was the death of a classmate when I was 17. It was through this experience that I learned to worry less about what others thought of me. 3 years later it helped propel me to take a chance, move to a place where I knew no one, and imagine a different life for myself.
The second and third marks go hand in had. It was the death of my mom and my first pregnancy loss, the start of RPL. I had watched my mom battle cancer for a 1-1/2 years and the day after she finally let go I began my first miscarriage.
It was a stunning blow to say the least.
During this time, four years ago, I found my self living in my own personal hell. I was trapped in world that I no longer wanted to be part of. A world I no longer could understand.
While the remembrance of this time can still bring tears to my eyes and sorrow to my heart I can now also find brighter reflections.
I survived. I survived my hell. I am still here, still living.
I have a beautiful, perfect son (rightly nicknamed Little Perseverance) and another baby on the way. I am centered and have a deeper, greater appreciation for life, love, and balance than most other people my age.
I have never stopped missing my mom and I never will. But, I am always working on my new relationship with her, hoping that she is somehow guiding me without me knowing.
I am tying to make sure her grandchildren learn about her and her love for them.
I hope my children will understand the mountains climbed and sacrifices we made in order to meet them- and what pure joy they bring to our lives.
I give thanks all the time to the classmate who allowed me to enjoy the life I have now.
Yes, bitter- sweet November, you will continue to bring out the best, and worst, in me.
The first mark November left on me was the death of a classmate when I was 17. It was through this experience that I learned to worry less about what others thought of me. 3 years later it helped propel me to take a chance, move to a place where I knew no one, and imagine a different life for myself.
The second and third marks go hand in had. It was the death of my mom and my first pregnancy loss, the start of RPL. I had watched my mom battle cancer for a 1-1/2 years and the day after she finally let go I began my first miscarriage.
It was a stunning blow to say the least.
During this time, four years ago, I found my self living in my own personal hell. I was trapped in world that I no longer wanted to be part of. A world I no longer could understand.
While the remembrance of this time can still bring tears to my eyes and sorrow to my heart I can now also find brighter reflections.
I survived. I survived my hell. I am still here, still living.
I have a beautiful, perfect son (rightly nicknamed Little Perseverance) and another baby on the way. I am centered and have a deeper, greater appreciation for life, love, and balance than most other people my age.
I have never stopped missing my mom and I never will. But, I am always working on my new relationship with her, hoping that she is somehow guiding me without me knowing.
I am tying to make sure her grandchildren learn about her and her love for them.
I hope my children will understand the mountains climbed and sacrifices we made in order to meet them- and what pure joy they bring to our lives.
I give thanks all the time to the classmate who allowed me to enjoy the life I have now.
Yes, bitter- sweet November, you will continue to bring out the best, and worst, in me.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Officially 18 Months
I forgot to post pics of LP who is officially 18 months old. It kills me that he has turned into such a little boy since his curls have been cut off.
Can you believe that soon I will have a 2 year old and 3 month old?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Random Postings
So there is not a whole lot to post about since nothing is really happening... which I guess is good.
- LP turned 18 months old and recently under went his first hair cut- how time is going so quickly. He is turning into such a little boy... I will post some pics soon.
- I missed my 1st yak test by 7 points. I have already taken the 3- hour and I passed with flying colors. Good. I wasn't about to pass on pumpkin pie or any pie for that matter. Seriously, I really wasn't.
- Work is slow. I am hoping to come up with some work that I can bill for January- March. I am half way done with January so bring it on people!!
- L's furlough's started and my second job is picking up the slack with a little extra. Things are still tight but we are making it.
- I hardly ever talk about this stuff but- my dad and his girlfriend broke up. They had moved in together for approximately one month. I have no idea what to say to him. None.
- The 4th year anniversary of my mom's death just passed. I miss and it's worse when I am pregnant...
And that wraps up this addition of randomness!
- LP turned 18 months old and recently under went his first hair cut- how time is going so quickly. He is turning into such a little boy... I will post some pics soon.
- I missed my 1st yak test by 7 points. I have already taken the 3- hour and I passed with flying colors. Good. I wasn't about to pass on pumpkin pie or any pie for that matter. Seriously, I really wasn't.
- Work is slow. I am hoping to come up with some work that I can bill for January- March. I am half way done with January so bring it on people!!
- L's furlough's started and my second job is picking up the slack with a little extra. Things are still tight but we are making it.
- I hardly ever talk about this stuff but- my dad and his girlfriend broke up. They had moved in together for approximately one month. I have no idea what to say to him. None.
- The 4th year anniversary of my mom's death just passed. I miss and it's worse when I am pregnant...
And that wraps up this addition of randomness!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Secret Keeper
Apparently, I am a secret keeper. Two people have recently unveiled their pregnancies too me and no one else knows, well, except their husbands. I am feeling a little flattered :)
Also, I am reading everyone's blog- I am just not responding too most. For some reason I have found myself back in the 1st trimester exhaustion with some nausea thrown in for a little variety. Seems I can't be up for more than an hour without longing for nap (like I am right now.)
My appts continue to go well although there was trace protein present again in my most recent appt and the results of my glucose "yak" test aren't back yet. My next appt is in 3 weeks and then the every 2 week starts. It seems to be going so fast all of a sudden...
Hugs to all and please know that I am keeping up with you!!
Also, I am reading everyone's blog- I am just not responding too most. For some reason I have found myself back in the 1st trimester exhaustion with some nausea thrown in for a little variety. Seems I can't be up for more than an hour without longing for nap (like I am right now.)
My appts continue to go well although there was trace protein present again in my most recent appt and the results of my glucose "yak" test aren't back yet. My next appt is in 3 weeks and then the every 2 week starts. It seems to be going so fast all of a sudden...
Hugs to all and please know that I am keeping up with you!!
Monday, October 19, 2009
What' s Your Theme?
This is inspired by a FB update I had stating that I thought life would be much more interesting if you had to break into song each time you entered a room (in reality, wouldn't it make things fun? Imagine standing in line at the bank or the grocery store!)
One of my friends said that due to a lack of vocal skills they would prefer to have a theme song.
Genius!
If I could have a theme song right now-- Dr. Feel Good by the Gorillaz. It always puts me in a good mood and I can't help but try (and I do mean try, I am a white mid-western girl) to get my groove on when I hear it.
What's your theme song?
One of my friends said that due to a lack of vocal skills they would prefer to have a theme song.
Genius!
If I could have a theme song right now-- Dr. Feel Good by the Gorillaz. It always puts me in a good mood and I can't help but try (and I do mean try, I am a white mid-western girl) to get my groove on when I hear it.
What's your theme song?
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Crap, 7 Things?
I was nominated by R&R for the Creative Blogger Award- thanks man! So I am going to try and play by the rules...
1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people may not know.
5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they’ve been nominated.
*****
1. I love when my sarcasm (aka- what I like to think of as wit) shows up in my blog... it feels so much more me! Just wish it would happen more often.
2. I truly enjoy listening to classical music and often do when making dinner or baking.
3. I landed the second job at the local church as their nursery coordinator- yay!
Ahh....
4. I heart Starbu.cks and I would go there everyday if I could.
5. I absolutely loathe mopping and vacuuming with a deep, heart-felt passion.
Umm...
6. I find the app 'Blackjac.k', on my husbands iphone, very addictive.
7. I like to talk to people about politics when they don't get all passionate about it and can remain reasonable.
********* Now the Nominees!**********new year new ute
so it goes
My Journey to Mommyhood
Dan & Hillary and little Russell
Perfectly Imperfect
Which Way to Baby?
Phantzi Little Yarns
Monday, October 05, 2009
The FB Age
So we are now living in a FB age. If you don't know what FB stand for then you have been living under a rock- nothing personal.
What makes FB great is that it allows you to keep up with people using minimal effort. There are, of course, good things and bad things about this but, overall, it works for me. No awkward phone calls to that relative you see every 5 years??? Yes!
It allows me to be nosy about people who I am just curious about- I usually just want to check out their pictures.
A while ago someone who I didn't really have a desire to be "friends" with (due to an unpleasant history- you know, all the high school drama) friend requested me. After two weeks I added her and decided to let bygones be bygones. Ignoring it seemed too mean and it was too far back to really hold a grudge.
So here is my question- what's your protocol when someone sends a friend request who you don't know, don't recognize their name, or worst of all, someone you don't really want to be friends with?
What makes FB great is that it allows you to keep up with people using minimal effort. There are, of course, good things and bad things about this but, overall, it works for me. No awkward phone calls to that relative you see every 5 years??? Yes!
It allows me to be nosy about people who I am just curious about- I usually just want to check out their pictures.
A while ago someone who I didn't really have a desire to be "friends" with (due to an unpleasant history- you know, all the high school drama) friend requested me. After two weeks I added her and decided to let bygones be bygones. Ignoring it seemed too mean and it was too far back to really hold a grudge.
So here is my question- what's your protocol when someone sends a friend request who you don't know, don't recognize their name, or worst of all, someone you don't really want to be friends with?
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Regrouping
Feeling slightly better.
Slightly.
Due to some cuts we have a whole $22.00 left over every month right now. It's a start. I am hoping to keep finding more cuts to make.
The contract work continues to be super slow- I am hoping I can make half of what I did last year- and to somehow come up with a November check.
I sent out a couple of emails asking for people to keep their ears open for jobs that I might be able to do. So far I have gotten a small filing project that will take about 10 hours and my sister is in need of a sitter for two days this month. It's something and I am grateful.
Also, another friend has found a possible opening for me. It's only 4-5 hours a week but simple enough that I could keep it if my contract work picked back up and would still work when new baby arrives. I would have to be present on Sunday mornings, it's for a church nursery, making me unable to attend church with my own family. I have an interview on Thursday morning so please wish me luck.
On the baby front...
Things seem to be quiet so far. During my monthly appointments my dr has found super small traces of sugar or protein- and sometimes nothing. She is not concerned right now but keeping an eye on me. My my yak test (aka glucose test) is set for mid- month. Why can't they just let you eat a Snickers with your favorite soda?
Baby continues to hit my bladder often enough where I am considering investing in D.epends.
I am starting to get more excited about his or her arrival. There are times I feel like this pregnancy is lasting forever coupled with moments of disbelief that I am approaching my 3rd trimester.
I have tried to focus on the fun things with this pregnancy as it may be our last. Which makes me sad and yet, feeling like there is some light at the end of the tunnel. The light being I can put the RPL anxiety officially behind me. Forever. Strange after you have been living with it for so long.
I am in need of some advice from those of you who have had winter babies--- being in the South things rarely stay cold for long but... what things we should have around for immediate use and what we should locate shortly after birth. Were there clothing items you found helpful? Or were there items you could have lived without?
Slightly.
Due to some cuts we have a whole $22.00 left over every month right now. It's a start. I am hoping to keep finding more cuts to make.
The contract work continues to be super slow- I am hoping I can make half of what I did last year- and to somehow come up with a November check.
I sent out a couple of emails asking for people to keep their ears open for jobs that I might be able to do. So far I have gotten a small filing project that will take about 10 hours and my sister is in need of a sitter for two days this month. It's something and I am grateful.
Also, another friend has found a possible opening for me. It's only 4-5 hours a week but simple enough that I could keep it if my contract work picked back up and would still work when new baby arrives. I would have to be present on Sunday mornings, it's for a church nursery, making me unable to attend church with my own family. I have an interview on Thursday morning so please wish me luck.
On the baby front...
Things seem to be quiet so far. During my monthly appointments my dr has found super small traces of sugar or protein- and sometimes nothing. She is not concerned right now but keeping an eye on me. My my yak test (aka glucose test) is set for mid- month. Why can't they just let you eat a Snickers with your favorite soda?
Baby continues to hit my bladder often enough where I am considering investing in D.epends.
I am starting to get more excited about his or her arrival. There are times I feel like this pregnancy is lasting forever coupled with moments of disbelief that I am approaching my 3rd trimester.
I have tried to focus on the fun things with this pregnancy as it may be our last. Which makes me sad and yet, feeling like there is some light at the end of the tunnel. The light being I can put the RPL anxiety officially behind me. Forever. Strange after you have been living with it for so long.
I am in need of some advice from those of you who have had winter babies--- being in the South things rarely stay cold for long but... what things we should have around for immediate use and what we should locate shortly after birth. Were there clothing items you found helpful? Or were there items you could have lived without?
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Done, Thank Goodness *(Warning: Rant Ahead)*
I am thanking the heavens that my last immune treatment took place last week.
We found out a few weeks ago that L is taking a pay cut of 3% for the next year in effort to prevent lay offs (never mind what his government contract says). I get it, I really do... it's going to leave a serious hole in an already tight budget. We have used savings to pay for the treatments and now due to the pay cut we have no way to try and replace the money (trust me, I have looked).
I know it's all for a good cause but when you have to spend well over $2,000.00 just to have a family it makes it difficult to remain financially prepared to maintain that family. *Not to mention that our insurance does not cover a dime AND we can't take a credit on our taxes for it because it doesn't meet the "required" percentage of our income. So we just have to eat it... (sigh)...
So now you know that I am thinking about at 3am.
We are so insanely broke that I cannot even joke about it.
I just want to cry.
We found out a few weeks ago that L is taking a pay cut of 3% for the next year in effort to prevent lay offs (never mind what his government contract says). I get it, I really do... it's going to leave a serious hole in an already tight budget. We have used savings to pay for the treatments and now due to the pay cut we have no way to try and replace the money (trust me, I have looked).
I know it's all for a good cause but when you have to spend well over $2,000.00 just to have a family it makes it difficult to remain financially prepared to maintain that family. *Not to mention that our insurance does not cover a dime AND we can't take a credit on our taxes for it because it doesn't meet the "required" percentage of our income. So we just have to eat it... (sigh)...
So now you know that I am thinking about at 3am.
We are so insanely broke that I cannot even joke about it.
I just want to cry.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
I Am Surrounded
Most of the time I enjoy living in a college town.
I like that there is often an event happening (not that I ever go), a play to catch (not that I do), some band to see (um, I have a kid), or that I can wander around downtown to people watch (which I sometimes do).
However, what I hate, especially when pregnant, is how impossible it is to enjoy your greasy, cheese-melted-just-right pizza, with all these skinny, look-at-me-my-thighs-don't-rub-together bitches running around in their cute trendy outfits.
And sometimes getting that mental slap-in-the-face when I am driving down the road eating my hot, salty fries and the skinny sorostitute runs by in her skimpy workout clothes that exposes her big boobs, tight butt, and flat abs.
Maybe next time I should hang my greasy fry bag out the window at her and see how she likes it.
Whores. I am surrounded by whores.
I like that there is often an event happening (not that I ever go), a play to catch (not that I do), some band to see (um, I have a kid), or that I can wander around downtown to people watch (which I sometimes do).
However, what I hate, especially when pregnant, is how impossible it is to enjoy your greasy, cheese-melted-just-right pizza, with all these skinny, look-at-me-my-thighs-don't-rub-together bitches running around in their cute trendy outfits.
And sometimes getting that mental slap-in-the-face when I am driving down the road eating my hot, salty fries and the skinny sorostitute runs by in her skimpy workout clothes that exposes her big boobs, tight butt, and flat abs.
Maybe next time I should hang my greasy fry bag out the window at her and see how she likes it.
Whores. I am surrounded by whores.
Friday, September 04, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Sad Day
The baby is well, and moving around. L actually got to feel him/her move last night but the sad news is that our family dog, ie.- Chase, Chasers, Fluffy Puppy, died suddenly this week.I really don't want to get into the saga that led up to it all. Needless to say we knew that something was wrong but he didn't seem to be in any pain, just feeling a little off. Restless.
We were going to take him to the vet in the morning. We decided to let him rest on his pillow next to our bed. When I went to check on him 30-40 minutes later he was gone.
I know that I have posted this picture before but it's my favorite of him, our Chasers.
LP didn't seemed phased by it the day after- but the following day was different. He just cried for probably a total of 40 minutes. Inconsolable, nothing would sooth him. He didn't want to eat, didn't want to be put down, didn't want to play. He just kinda clung to me while letting out great big sobs and tears. I just kept rocking him until he finally fell asleep.
It was so unlike LP-- I worry that he was feeling a little lost without his furry friend.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
All Is Well
We went for the u/s.
Everything looked good. Wonderful. Fantastic.
We did not find out the sex, so we are awaiting our surprise in January-
Yay!
I have been reading blogs, just not responding.
That's about all the energy I have. Sorry, I am just pooped.
Cheers to a lovely week for you :)
Everything looked good. Wonderful. Fantastic.
We did not find out the sex, so we are awaiting our surprise in January-
Yay!
I have been reading blogs, just not responding.
That's about all the energy I have. Sorry, I am just pooped.
Cheers to a lovely week for you :)
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