The title pretty much just says it all.
I have conceded that this pregnancy is over but I can still feel the smallest sliver of hope lingering in the back of my mind... stupid hope.
I will be getting a call from my ob's office tomorrow informing me of what will occur next- blood work or ultrasound. It'll be one.
There are brief discussions going on inside our house about what steps will be taken after this. All them make me want to cry and leave me feeling anxious and like a failure.
Achieved with tears, faith, hope, pure love, and a lot of medication.
This Is My Story
- Grad3
- I am 32 years old and a survivor of Recurrent Pregnancy Loss (RPL.) In 4 years we have lost a total of 7 pregnancies, 2 losses were after seeing a heartbeat. L and I were able to keep baby number 6 after I started IVIg treatments. We were able to add to our family in January 2010 after using Intralipid treatments. My current diagnosis is RPL, PCOS, Factor V, and Abnormal Leukocyte Antibodies.
Me and L During the Blissful Days of Ignorance
Fertility History
- Nov '05- Blighted Ovum Found At 10 Weeks (1st )
- Dec '05 to Jan '06- Pregnancy (2nd) and miscarried at 6 weeks
- Feb '06- Diagnosed With PCOS and Factor V
- March '06 to July '06- 1500mg of Metformin with Letrozole/ Clomid... No Response
- Aug '06- New RE... Injectable Cycle w/ Follistim and IUI
- Sept '06 to Oct '06- Pregnancy (3rd) Miscarriage, No Development After 6 Weeks, Chromosome Testing Came Back Normal
- Jan '07- New Insurance Means New RE
- Feb '07- Letrozole Cycle w/ Booster Injection and IUI... I responded!!
- March '07- Chemical Pregnancy (4th)
- April '07 to May '07 - Pregnancy (5th), Lost Heartbeat At 7w5d, Chromosome Testing Came Back Normal
- June '07- RE says Egg Donor... We Request Immune Testing, Refers Us To New RE
- July '07- New RE Requests Saline U/S and Immune Tests
- Aug '07- RE Finds Abnormal Leukocyte Antibodies
- Aug '07- Pregnancy (6th)
- Sept '07- Started IVIg Treatments
- May '08- Welcome to the World Lil' P!!
- Sept '08- Not Trying but Not Preventing
- Nov '08- Pregnancy (7th), Miscarriage at 7w
- Dec '08 to Jan '09- Pregnancy (8th), Lost Heartbeat At 7w3d
- May '09- Pregnancy (9th)
- May '09 to Sept '09- Intralipid Treatments with Predisone (20w)
- Jan '10- Welcome to the World Triumph!
Books, Novels, and Authors to Read
- Jen Lancaster (love her!)
- Philippa Gregory
- Savich and Sherlock: The FBI Series by Catherine Coulture
- The Enchanted Inc. Series by Shanna Swendson
- The Shopoholic Series by Sophie Kinsella
- The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine, MD
- Stephanie Plum Novels by Janet Evanovich
- Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling (duh!)
- Kay Scarpetta Novels by Patricia Corwell
Movies and TV Shows
- Sex In The City
- CSI: Las Vegas
- Dead Like Me (it was only two seasons)
- Legally Blonde
- Criminal Minds
- News Radio
- Emma
- Pride and Prejudice (A&E Version)
Other Things I Like
- The Sound of My Family Laughing
- Thunderstorms
- The Smell of a Camp Fire
- My Favorite Season is Fall
- A Grande Mocha from Starbucks
- Chocolate (what can't it fix beside my uterus?)
6 comments:
I'm going to go ahead and be hopeful anyway. Wildly hopeful. That way you can remain guarded, but the required quota of brimming, unbridled hope for this pregnancy will be fulfulled by me.
I will have everything crossable crossed for you and will be waiting with baited breath to see what the OB says.
xo
Oh sweetie, I am so so sorry. Please know that I am thinking of you and praying for you all. ((LOTS OF HUGS))
You're in my thoughts.
Thinking of you, and wishing it didn't have to be this way. xoxo
First of all, you are NOT a failure. That is one thing you should be sure of.
Second of all, I'm with Leah and I'm going to be hopeful for you...
Third and lastly, I am praying so hard for you that things will be okay. ((hugs))
stupid hope is hard to let go of. so I keep it anyway and hold on to it for you.
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