And this is one math problem I can't seem to get wrong.
So if you see another way I am open to discussion. But no matter how many different ways I look at this I can't seem to come out on a positive.
I started to miscarry (#7) around Nov. 6th and that took a week.
I found out about this pregnancy on the Dec 9th. So it would be physically impossible for me to be any earlier than 3 weeks on that day, right?? Then that would mean I would have to be at least 6 weeks today.
I measured 5 weeks with no sign of a fetal pole. Just a nice little sac with yolk.
My doctor was out today and won't be in until next week. I suspect she will do another u/s if I haven't started spotting or miscarrying by then. Then, if that's inconclusive, I imagine that she will do more labs. L is just frustrated with me and thinks I am "not giving our baby a chance" that I am being too pessimistic.
I just don't see how this can end any other way, the math isn't making sense.
I am just so sad. I don't see how I can keep doing this.
It's times like this when I hate hope the most. It juts leaves me feeling hurt, sad, and empty.
Damn it.
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11 comments:
I'm so sorry sweetie. I don't have any feel better words, but I'm sending up some prayers, and sending you big hugs.
I think I probably missed this in the past, and forgive me for asking, but is there something that doctors have found that's recurring in the losses? Just curious, so if it's not my business, no worries. *hugs*
I am so, so sorry. Waiting is agony. Waiting to know whether a pregnancy will be viable is a whole other league of torture. I am thinking of you and praying for a positive outcome. ((HUGS))
Ugh - this is sucky to say the least! I wish I had some cheer you up words, but I don't.
I know the waiting is complete torture. I hope you get some resolution as to what is going on in there next week.
In the meantime, hang in there, I'll be sending you some hugs and good vibes...
With Lil' P's pregnancy I was treated with IVIg for an autoimmune disorder.
It cost us well over several thousands of dollars and drained our savings even with help from family.
Our problem is that we never quite knew if I just had/have really poor egg quality and we just got a healthy egg with Lil' P or was it really the IVIg.
Much to discuss in this household in the following weeks.
Thanks for the support ladies.
Please don't give up just yet:-( Russell was 'backdated' 9 to 11 days. I didn't realize the severity of that at the time, though. If that was correct, I'd have a hpt three days after conceiving.
No words, only hugs and prayers.
I am just so sorry. I just experienced a loss myself and I know there is nothing I can say to make it better for you, but I am sending you a big hug.
I stumbled upon your blog the other day and have been reading your story and catching up since then... And it all breaks my heart. I actually just lost my fourth child this past Monday and am not handling it well at all...Just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you and your family through this wait you're now having to go through...
I'm here from Lost and Found. I'm so sorry for all of your previous losses and current worrisome situation. I think limbo is sometimes worse than just knowing. What are your betas doing? Is that reassuring? Thinking of you.
http://barrenisthenewblack.wordpress.com/
Damn it indeed. So so sad for you. I didn't even make it that far (my six week u/s showed an empty uterus), so I can't imagine the horrible limbo that this puts you in.
Please don't beat up on yourself for expecting the worst. Nothing you can do (or think) will hurt the outcome. You are just trying to protect your heart, and doing your best to be prepared.
So sorry, and thinking the best for you.
No words, just prayers of hope
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