Well, it's actually after 1 am, so does it still count? I am a contract worker at my first job which means I don't have a steady income (thanks goodness my husband does!) So I took a second job doing something completely non-emotional (my contract job draws a lot of emotional energy out of me) to help float us through the times when my paychecks are small.
The downside to this is that it's doing stock work at clothing store. This means that I have to get up two times a week at 4:45 am so that I can leave by 5:30 and get to the store by 6 am. Which in general not THAT big of a deal. The work is mindless and the extra money (about $150.00 every two weeks really helps out.) The problem is, that I get so worried about sleeping through my alarm that I can't go to sleep (hence, my 1am entry). So, if I am lucky I get 2-3 hours of sleep on the days when I work there and then I am useless after 2pm. I still need to be on my game for my first job (which I usually go to after I end my 2nd one). Again, not such a big deal but it's starting to wear on me. I get so irritated when I am laying in bed staring at the ceiling and all I can think is "I just want to sleep already!" One night I got so mad about it I started crying! On one level this is helping us pay for our future fertility treatments, on another, this can't be helpful for my fertility. It's the catch-22 coming back into my life....
One night I was able to fall asleep by 10pm, slept right through until the alarm went off. I totally handled the day fine. Why can't I do that every time? Then it would all be fine. What to do, what to do.... ideas?
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