Impatiently Waiting Today

So the more time I spend with my nephew, the more I am ready for injectables. I am soooo ready.

I am hopeful that the dr will let me go on them this month but I realize that it is unlikely since we will be out of town.

I have been reading that research and dr’s are showing that if you take Clomid earlier in your cycle you can get better results. Since my ovaries didn’t respond at all maybe I will talk to the dr about starting it at cd2….

We’ll see, we go to the RE on Thursday afternoon. I am so ready for my baby!!!!

Stupid Ovaries

So it appears that I was not specific enough if my prayer. I needed to ask for the 4 months of continuous ovulation to occur starting the month of July…

Yes, that’s right then med’s did not work AGAIN this cycle. Month 9 down, no ovulation. So not only have I still not ovulated, I haven’t done so in the time it takes a normal women to have a baby! Not to mention, it reminds me that I am missing my baby right now. Stupid ovaries! Sometimes I hate them….

When I was at the regular ob’s office getting the cd13 ultrasound done the tech was very nice to me. This was the third time she has done an ovulation check on me. She tried to distract me by talking about books to read (we like the same type) and suggested a few authors to check out. When she was walking me back to my dr’s office she told me she wanted a full book report. Bless you Barbra for trying to make me smile and distract me.

Then Dr.C came in and she was very nice and supportive. We talked about that the RE wanted to do for the next possible cycle. I told her that she would probably want me to go on another round of Clomid at a higher dose and for a longer period. I told Dr. C that I was done with Clomid. That I was ready to move on to injectables. Dr. C said that she would do whatever she needed to and said I was being reasonable. Bless you Dr. C for hearing my frustration and sadness.

However, it looks like that the possible money we would have used to buy the meds will now have to be used for the new house we are building. Which I find ironic because my husband and I have built this huge house for our possible, someday family and I can’t even ovulate. I hope that we can fill it…

I came home and was expressing my deep frustration with the lack if ovulation again and when I told him that I have been pretty patient he said, “Have you been?” Shortly after he realized that he should’ve said “Yes, you have been” since he started to just listen and say how sorry he was that this was happening again. Bless you husband for hearing what I needed, which was understanding.

Then today was super fun because I went to visit a client in the hospital who had just had a baby boy. It was great walking into the maternity ward and looking at all the family peering into the nursery window and the friends walking around with balloons and bears. And let’s not forget the blue and pink bows on each and every door.

Let’s not forget the baptism that I get to go to for my sisiter-in-law on Sunday who I was exactly 7 weeks behind.

Fabulous, absolutely fabulous… for the love of the sweet Lord, when is it my turn?

Good news... and more stress

My RE is great, so helpful and encouraging!

I am starting back on 100mg of clomid and then a u/s... If the u/s looks good, then I will get an injection(s) of menopur and then a trigger. I am not quite sure what menopur is but... I will do some checking tonight. Waiting for AF to show so that I can get a follie count on cd3 and an HSG on cd8.... where the hell is AF already?! If she waits too much longer we won't be able to do an immediate second round because we are already committed to a 4 day trip with my husband’s family.

These past couple weeks have been so stressful as my husband and I are building a house and now all the stuff that "we" aka, me, have to do is coming up. It's not completly my husband's fault as he is out of town a lot. Pick the cabinet colors, pick the floor color, pick the wall colors, pick out the appliances... did I miss anything? Oh yeah, all those things are due asap.... Great. Oh, I forgot counter tops too.... and the light fixtures...

I have been given some new things to do at work and I feel like a bumbling idiot. The things are not difficult to complete, it's just a lot to remember, and it’s detailed. It's something I have never done before and I hate feeling incompetent when it comes to work. Like, I should already know all the answers. I should just automatically just know how to do everything. I just feel so mentally exhausted now, I can’t even think.

How will I get stuff for the house done, get to all my appointments, my new work done along with a regular work? Yikes.... I have had a headache all day that I haven't been able to get rid of.... Last night I slept horribly. I actually had a dream that all these color swatches were swarming at me and I woke up feeling like an anxiety attack was coming on.....

I think that my superwoman persona is starting to falter.

Huh..... Injectables and playing the odds

I hate reading information on the miscarriages sometimes.... "there is only a 6% chance that a women will miscarry a second time." Great.... another area where I am outside the average. Please don't get me started on the books and chapters that say "How to Prevent a Misacarriage" All I can think is, if they were preventable wouldn't all of them be prevented?!

On the other hand... "there is a 78% chance of pregancy using injectables... 86% chance by the 3rd month..." That's better! Let's play and pray for the 'right' percentages...

It occurred to me today that if/when I have to use injectables to become pg that my husband and I will be out of town for the posible second round. Do you think my mother-in-law would be upset if I placed my fertility drugs in the vegtable drawer?

Also, if my husband is out of town, who will give me ths shots if they are intramuscular? Any takers?