I'm Coming Out and Introducing Lil' P

***pregnancy mentioned***

"I want the world to know, got to let it show"- Dianna Ross

Basically, since Thanksgiving I have been coming out to people about my pregnancy. I finally told my extended family and I openly admitted that I was pregnant to two co-workers, without anyone else outing me first. I have also accepted a handful of congratulations gracefully- without poo-pooing them.

I have been starting to show since Thanksgiving so it's been getting more difficult to hide it. Although, I believe that I am doing a pretty good job- at hiding it and being more comfortable with it. Although, truth be told, I don't really have to "hide" it anymore as it's getting cold here- that means thicker heavier clothes. I used to be very mindful of never putting my hand on my belly or rubbing it. Now, I allow myself to not only do this at home, but when I am out in public- but only if there isn't anyone I know around. I promise, I am working on it!

Several weeks ago, Leah from My Dusty Ovaries, pointed out that I was 14 weeks pregnant. I was impressed that she knew how far along I was- it was the fact that she knew at all. I have made a point to never mention how far along I am for two reasons. 1) I was and still am feeling a little superstitious. 2) When going through all of my pregnancies and other people would mention that they were pregnant, I could figure out how far ahead or behind me they were. Therefore, every time I miscarried and I read that persons blog or information, I knew how far long I should be. It made it difficult for me keep up with them and well... it was just painful. So I tried to not bestow that information to others who may be reading.

With all that being said, I have decided to come to you, my fellow bloggers and readers. Not because I want to be vengeful, but because I feel like it's time to start celebrating this pregnancy a little more. When I tell people, I have found that my excitement grows a little bit, as well as my anxiety, but I am choosing to focus more on the excitement part. So here it goes... I am 18-1/2 weeks pregnant. There, I said it. And for the first time here, I am willing to gracefully accept congratulations, if they are offered.

Also, I have decided to name the baby Perseverance, or Lil' P. I do believe that this baby is here because of the perseverance of L and I. We lost faith many times, almost gave up several times, and always questioned what we were doing every time we started a new cycle. We thought surely our family thinks we are crazy- but somehow my instinct always said I was meant to be a mom. I had a very vivid dream once where I was pregnant and could feel the baby move- so I tried to remember that during all my questioning and doubting. So we continued down this insane road by choice- and here we are.

So today I am coming out and introducing Lil' P to you. I also felt Lil' P move the other day- so that was very strange and very cool. Although, he has sent no emails or texts to me lately I am told that is not unusual. I hope that he texts again soon :)