Wow.

So much to say and yet, nothing to say at all.

The holidays were good, not great, but good. I got a stomach virus two days before Christmas Eve. Then on Christmas the rest of my extended family got it- it wasn't until evening time so we were able to enjoy the day. It appeared to the gift that kept on giving.

My biggest step??? I have my induction scheduled. Eeeek!!!

I am not going to reveal the date but it's soon. Very soon. I suspect I will post before heading off to meet the newest family member.

I am terrified and excited all at once. I will miss my snuggle time with LP and being our little family of three. I have cried about it several times but I am excited to meet this baby and add to our family. Having my "end date" has given me the ability to better cope with the aches and pains of pregnancy-- and have a better attitude in general. For which everyone is grateful!

However, I have been having "real" contractions on and off since Sunday. It is reminding me of the week prior to LP's birth. My heart is now at ease with my decision to induce. I was worried about bringing this new family member into the world too early but I feel like if I make it to the induction it will be right on time.

I tweaked the story that I gave to my sister, my doula, about the induction. She has said on no uncertain terms that she considered it "irresponsible of any doctor to just schedule an induction without considering what a woman's body is ready for..." Yes, I know. It's just her opinion. It's her soapbox-- along with feelings about how breastfeeding is the only right way to do things *buuut* that's another story in itself.

Back to my tweaked story... I said the induction would be a "last minute decision" based upon what my cervix/ body was doing. Not a scheduled "2-3 weeks in advance thing." I figure this way I still get to feel good about my decision without worrying that she's judging me *and* what she doesn't know won't hurt her. See? Everyone's happy! (However cowardly it may come across.)

Finally, while I do still plan on following people, I have decided to give blogging a rest. Simply said, I feel that my journey is complete. This has been a long debate for me. I considered setting up shop in a new place but that didn't seem fair to any readers as my blog has been seriously slacking- aka I have been a slacker. So I am wrapping it up.

I will keep the blog open for those who might be struggling with the turmoil that RPL brings, maybe they will stumble across it and be encouraged to consider paths less traveled. The infertility community gave me a home when I had none and I hope that by leaving my blog up it will continue to give back to those who need it.

But don't panic!!!

This won't happen until after the baby is born- it seems as though it would be cruel to not let everyone know the baby's gender :)