Today's Nutshell

Thanks for to all for the support and understanding- it was nice to know that I wasn't crazy for feeling upset about Hussie. It helped a lot!!!

However, Hussie may not actually be the one who is the hussie. But that's for later in the story...

So I ended up talking to my sister, E, about how I was feeling. She was able to calm me down some and I became a bit more rational (but only a bit). I think ultimately what I needed most, was for someone close to me to be empathetic which she was able to do.

So in the conversation that I had with E we decided that it would be best to not have the birthday dinner at my oldest sisters house as originally planned. We decided that a local restaurant would be better- neutral territory and I felt like our family space was not being invaded. The dinner wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be. While Hussie seemed nice enough, and appropriately nervous, I didn't get a whole lot of time to chat with her. Although, her mannerisms reminded me of a close family friend which was slightly endearing to me (as I love this family friend). Hussie stayed several days but I only had dinner with her that one night. I did observe during the evening though that every time my dad would try to be affectionate she would pull away. I am not sure if that was because of our presence or because she was not ready for that type of display. I think perhaps a little of both.

So you are wondering who the hussie is in this story, right? I think it might actually be my dad. After the Original Hussie left I was talking to E who told me that my dad was leaving AGAIN this weekend. Where you may be wondering??? To meet up with ANOTHER woman. When my sister inquired about her name he couldn't remember. Nice.

Over the years I have gotten the impression that my father didn't date a lot- perhaps he is getting it out of his system now. (Sigh)...

My family is nuts and I know my mom just keeps shaking her head.

***Pregnancy Mentioned***

Just wanted to say that my contractions continue and became close enough last night at 1:30am to indicate to us that we needed to go to the hospital. Upon arrival, I had my first internal exam done (as I was/ am declining them to decrease the risk of infection). I discovered while my contractions were lasting for 1 minute and 4 minutes apart for 1 hour (4-1-1) I was not effaced or dilated enough- so we were sent home. I was managing the pain and didn't really feel like we needed to go (and I didn't want to get to the hospital to be sent home), but I thought L would kill me if I fought him on going. Overall, it was a good learning experience.

I learned I do not like being in the bed at all, the change of environment really decreased the intensity of my contractions, and the baby does well during contractions. So, we need to make sure that my contractions are very established (going on longer than 1 hour) the next time and even though the maternity triage nurse will strap me to a wired monitor, I am not getting in the bed until she is ready to check me.

L and I agreed that when this happens again ('casue duh, it will) we are going to base our decision on leaving for the hospital on what my intuition is telling me and how I am feeling about the contractions- instead of what the clock is telling us. Like I said though, it was a good learning expereince.

So that's me and my life in a nutshell... for today